What does your engagement ring say about you? Are you a diamond girlie, or an emerald girlie? Cushion cut or solitaire? Vintage and sustainable, or brand new and contemporary?
Your choice of engagement ring can speak volumes, but the central message, regardless of style, is an obvious one: you're married. For increasingly more people, particularly women in straight relationships, choosing an engagement ring has become an important way of reflecting who they are in their relationship.
It is one of the many ways that fashion has become a conduit for change in gender norms. Engagement rings, potentially one of the more expensive buys a person could make, used to hold a very different meaning depending on your background, Chupi Sweetman, CEO of Chupi Jewellery says.
"They used to be the insurance policy. If you were left at the altar, that's what your engagement ring was."
The shift in gender equality and how it manifests in seemingly small choices like the jewellery we wear and buy ourselves is not lost on Sweetman, who acknowledges: "When you add up the years, we're not that long past the women getting the vote.
"I always think you can't talk about diamonds without talking about politics. We are genuinely the first generation of women buying our own diamonds.
"We know all of the changes that have come and are still coming, and likewise the changes being undone, inequality in the likes of the US, where equality is rolling backwards, not forward.
"So I think women being part of that conversation and getting to be in the room when they choose their ring is so huge, because we want our relationships to be more equal. And that starts from day one."
She adds, "It doesn't mean that that gorgeous romantic moment of someone choosing a ring completely for someone else isn't unbelievably special. Of course it is". As it happens, Sweetman's husband chose her engagement ring entirely on his own and nailed it – albeit after 10 years of asking her to marry him, from when they were 16 to 26.
As with any form of fashion, trends in engagement rings come and go – although handing over possibly thousands of euros for the latest style simply because it's "trending" might not be the best idea. However, Sweetman noted that the trends she's seeing are far more symbolic than just what's fashionable now.
"Previously it used to be that – and we're talking very heteronormative stuff here – but it used to be, he would come in, he would choose the rings for her, he would propose and she would be like, I love it or I don't love it and I'm stuck wearing it for the rest of my life", she said.
The pressure to choose the "right" stone, with possibly no input from the wearer, can be profound. "By and large, if someone is choosing a piece for you, they'll choose the most conservative option. They'll go for a very classic shape, a very classic colour, a very classic type of stone."
Now, however, more couples are coming in to choose a ring together, she noted. Because of this, we're beginning to see far more unusual, non-traditional rings growing in popularity, as the wearer embraces their chance to make this highly symbolic piece of jewellery represent her and personality, as opposed to just her marital status.
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Diamonds will always be a popular and classic choice, not least because they sit highest on the MOHS scale for durability in gemstones. However, alternative stones are becoming more common as people look for colourful, unique and sometimes more affordable options.
Grey diamonds, previously considered imperfect diamonds, are just as durable as diamonds but have a subtle hazy and flecked colour to them, while pink sapphire is currently trending.
Emerald, though popular, is less durable than diamonds and sapphires, Sweetman notes. "We have to recognise we're probably harder on our jewellery than our mothers were, so our mums probably wore their rings on good days rather than every day."
Opal, another beautiful gem, sits at around five on the MOHS scale, making it more fragile. As Sweetman says, when choosing an opal ring you have to think that "the ring is forever, the stone may not be".
When it comes to cuts and settings, there are some styles that are proving incredibly popular. Halo rings, with a border of smaller stones circling a central one, are the "it" rings of the moment, while the shopper looking for more bang for their buck might opt for an oval ring, like Hailey Bieber's.
Diamonds are measured in carats, which tells you how much they weigh, but if you buy "a one carat or a two carat diamond in an oval, it looks bigger, which is what we all want", Sweetman said. "An oval will look bigger on your finger than the equivalent size in a round stone."
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Lab grown diamonds are fast becoming the more sustainable (and slightly cheaper) choice, Sweetman said.
Grown from a seed of a mined diamond and subjected in a laboratory to the same heat, pressure and environment of mined diamonds, these grown diamonds are "chemically, molecularly and visually identical to a mined diamond", without the ethical concerns.
The ethics of lab grown diamonds is still a sliding scale, she noted: "You're going [from] coal fuelled plants in China who are producing some of the really environmentally dirty diamonds that are just using loads of power and therefore loads of fossil fuel to create them to, on the other end of the scale, phenomenal diamonds."
At the end of the day, the best engagement ring for you is something you love and that means something. "Look, people propose with Hula Hoops". Sweetman laughs. "You can use anything for it. We get brilliant people who've walked in having proposed with Haribo."
